Malapropism

mal·a·prop·ism

   [mal-uh-prop-iz-uhm] Show IPA

–noun

1.

an act or habit of misusing words ridiculously, esp. by theconfusion of words that are similar in sound.

Malapropisms are a way of life in first grade. Here are a few I can recall off the top of my head.

Cabinet vs. Cabin

Ex. "I went to my cabinet at Red Lodge this weekend."

Disremember

Ex. "Where do I put my paper? I disremembered."

Blocker

The kids were lining up for lunch when one came over to me, clearly upset and holding back tears. When I asked him what was the matter, he tearfully explained that someone called him a bad word. I prompted him to tell me the bad word. He whispered, "Blocker" into my ear. "What?" I said. "BLOCKER," he answered firmly. "What's a blocker?" I whispered back. "I don't know, but it hurt my feelings." When interrogated, the little gal in question told me (quite exasperated) "BLOCKER - as in, he's blocking me! Geeze!"

The "F" word

Fart

The "S" word

Either "stupid" or "shut up"

Distinct vs. extinct (An oldie, but a goodie)

"Your eyes are very distinct!"

"What does that mean?"

"You know... like dinosaurs?"

And my favorite, heard today while discussing Halloween costumes:

Commando vs. Commander

Ex. "I'm going commando tomorrow!"

"You're what?!?"

"I'm going commando!"

"What does that mean?"

"I have a helmet and a uniform and all these weapons..."

"You mean you're going to be a commandER."

"Yeah! Commando!"

You can't win them all!