Lessons on Loss

Over the holiday break, a student in my room was blessed with the birth of a little sister. Having three boys in the family, the little gal was an exciting new addition. S had even shown the class an ultrasound picture of his sister-to-be's little foot right before we left for vacation. Tragically, after two days with her family, the baby didn't make it. She was born with obvious complications and she wasn't able to hold on.

On Monday when the kids and I returned, S opted to stay home for another day. While I was contemplating how to discuss this with the other kids, I overhead them discussing it themselves. I needed to step in.

I gathered the kids at carpet and explained that S's little sister had been born, but that her heart and lungs weren't strong enough and her body shut down. We then talked about how sad it is to have someone or something die, and how we can support S when he gets back. The kids (so egocentric!) all wanted to share about a time their dog, cat, fish, Grandpa, etc. had died. They do understand. They remembered how sad their parents were when their grandma died, or how they cried and cried when they had to bury the family dog. Yes, maybe they were a little selfish. And no, they probably don't understand what's happening or how S is really feeling. But they tried. They took what they could, and we talked about taking care of our classmates when they are sad. They wanted to make him a card, so we did. Some of them were incredibly thoughtful: I hope you remember her; I bet your heart is broken; I know how you feel. I was really touched by the empathy these little seven-year-olds were capable of.

Today was the funeral. I was lucky enough to attend, but man it was heartbreaking. I cried and cried for that mom's empty arms and the quiet strength of the dad. I cried and cried for those brothers who wore pink ties and looked like little men in their tiny suits. But I also listened. I heard that some of us take 80 years to accomplish what we are put on Earth to do. This little girl only needed two days. At the end, the pastor offered a chance for anyone to put their faith in God. To feel any measure of peace that this family was displaying. By the sounds of it, over twenty people accepted Christ. Think of the meaning behind that! Some people spend their entire life witnessing, but only get to see a few lives changed. This little girl was alive for two days and her short life on Earth now means eternal life for twenty people. Incredible.

Just like after all funerals, I'm reminded of the suddenness with which we could be taken from this life. Speak your heart; tell people you love them; treat others with care and compassion; love with abandon.