Mother's Day for the Mom Who's Waiting

Mother's Day is an interesting holiday. It's not all-inclusive, but most holidays aren't. The difference is that most holidays allow you to be "born into" them - through religion or culture. Mother's Day has to be earned. While anyone can celebrate Mother's Day, the whole point is to honor the women who raised us. So basically, Mother's Day boils down whether you're the honoree or the honored.

Now don't get me wrong - I LOVE honoring my mother. My mother is WORTHY of being honored. She birthed and raised 4 kind, productive, smart (if I do say so myself) children, and continues to serve them and love them by caring for 5 grandchildren! She's a picture of patience, acceptance, forgiveness and fortitude. She's all a mother should be. The same can be said for my Mother-in-law and my dear friends. They deserve to be celebrated and honored! They work hard and love harder. I don't want to minimize that.

But the last few Mother's Days, all I felt was left out. While I was ready for a baby long ago, Seth was not. Seth and I as a couple were not. So I waited. Not so patiently. It became harder and harder to watch my friends and family move on with their lives while mine stood still. Every Mother's Day was a reminder that I was less of a woman because I hadn't joined the club. I became resentful, knowing that I'd been a "mother" to hundreds of children for 6 years! I'd wiped noses, cleaned up vomit, wiped away tears and assured my love to those kids.... didn't that make me deserving? And even though I didn't have any kids of my own, I still felt like I was that woman... a mother. I just hadn't met my baby yet. So why did the girl who "got knocked up" get all the recognition while I sat sullen in a corner? Mother's Day became hard to celebrate.

So this Mother's Day, my first with my baby, was a big deal to me. Sometimes it felt like I'd never get here. So I spent the day snuggling my bug and thanking God for allowing me to finally celebrate Mother's Day the way I'd always wanted. But in the back of my mind, I couldn't help thinking about all those women like I was - one's who ARE mothers... they just haven't yet met their babies. Ones who watch the calendar like a hawk, sensing every twinge and flutter and wondering, wondering, wondering, only to be disappointed every month. Or one's who's bodies are healthy, but are waiting on God's perfect timing and making the responsible choice to wait for their marriage to mature.  I think that, while Mother's Day has changed for me, I'll never be able to really forget how I felt. Which is a good thing! A little compassion can go a long way I think. I wish someone had understood or voiced their empathy when I was a waiting mother. People say "You'll never understand the love a parent can have for a child until you have one." But I disagree. I think NO one understands how much a child can be loved more than a woman who doesn't have one and wants one with all she is.

So this Mother's Day I of course honor all the Mothers - especially my own. Words cannot explain how hard she worked to make our childhoods filled with joy and love. And our teenage-hoods, and now, adulthood. But I also honor the moms who are still waiting. You are valuable and honored and will be blessed!

Happy Mother's Day!