Assertive Problem Solving

As many of you know, I am not a very "assertive" person. I don't even like asking sales people for help, because I don't want to be a "bother". If there is a problem, I prefer looking the other way to drawing attention to it (or the person who caused it) and feeling uncomfortable. I know, it's not the best way... but it's who I am.

That being said, I must take a few moments to brag on my new sense of empowerment. 

I complained. 

To management.

About... the management.

And it felt glorious. I was at David's Bridal with Aubyn, Karen, and Jenn's mom helping Jenn pick out wedding dresses. We were having a grand ol' time when someone told Jenn that her appointment was up, and if she'd like, she could schedule another. The place was hopping, and everywhere you looked was a bride and her entourage. But we were being helped, and had no complaints with the service we were receiving. When Jenn was basically told to leave, she mentioned that she had an appointment and should receive priority over all the walk ins. The employee informed her that the manager asked her to have Jenn schedule another appointment, as they were too busy. Jenn told the lady that her manager could take a flying leap (Jenn, obviously, has no qualms with assertive behavior).

When the story was repeated to me, I was appalled. When a lady is about to drop a considerable chunk of change on a gown that will last forever in memories and photographs, YOU DON'T ASK HER TO LEAVE YOUR STORE. I was infuriated. We all fumed for a bit, disgusted by the lack of customer service.

A bit later, I heard the manager say to our bridal consultant, "How is your OTHER bride doing? Have you even checked on her??" Now, our little errand girl was running her butt off to help us and the other bride assigned to her. She was doing great, and we were very pleased with her help, so to hear the manager now treat HER like crap was the last straw.

I walked over to the manager, pulled her away from another clan of prospective buyers, and told her that our entire group was extremely offended at being asked to leave. She attempted a shocked look (not very successful - it was more a cross between annoyance and embarrassment, as by now, the whole group she was helping was listening) and said that she never meant to offend us, but that is David Bridal policy.

The rest went something like this:

"I understand that, but you need to think about customer service. When she is about to drop big money on one of your products, you don't really have the luxury of asking us to leave."

"And I appreciate your business, but there are several other brides who need help, and I need to be sure that all of them are being served. Now your consultant can't give you the attention you deserve."

"Our consultant is doing a fine job of helping us, we have felt totally taken care of. So wouldn't it be wise to ask the walk ins to make an appointment like we did? And then give them the attention they deserve? I think that with all the friends I have at prime marrying age, when I tell them about my experience here, it just doesn't look good for you. That's something you need to think about."

"But that's our policy, and I'm sorry that you're offended."

"Well I think that policy needs some reworking, and whether or not that is your policy, that is no way to treat customers."

"Well I'm sorry  you feel that way."

"I appreciate your apology, but I'm not the one that needs to hear it."

Don't you hate that? An apology that isn't really an apology? Don't be sorry "that I FEEL that way", be sorry FOR WHAT YOU DID. 

A few minutes later, the manager apologized to our entire group and explained the policy. We bombarded her (politely) with a few more suggestions (keeping the one about shoving her "policy" where the sun doesn't shine to ourselves) and thanked her for her apologies. The rest of the evening, she was nothing but helpful.

"Oh, you look lovely in that one! Can I fluff that train for you? How are you ladies doing, can I get you anything?" etc.

Ahhh! That felt GOOD. I NEVER complain, so to do so and see results was very gratifying - empowering. I didn't throw a fit, didn't cause a scene, just told someone how I felt, and what needed to change. For some of you, this may seem like nothing. But hopefully, to some other "cant-we-all-just-get-along" kind of gal... you'll see what this really was.