Growing Pains

Each year, the teachers in our district are asked if they would be willing to take on a student teacher or a junior or sophomore practicum from MSU-B or Rocky. I have always said no to these surveys, as I'm not even tenured yet, and feel (some days more than others) that I am more like a college student then a mentor teacher.

At my last evaluation last year, my principal told me that she would like me to take on a practicum student soon, because she thinks I do things in such a way that others should watch. None of this is my doing. If I am doing ANYTHING right, I owe it to my literacy coach (who taught me everything I know about teaching), my teaching partners, and my own mentor teacher during student teaching. I just do what they tell me to do, how they tell me to do it. Anyhow, my principal admires my methods, I suppose, and urged me to take a practicum. 

I still said no thanks.

Then last week, one of my teaching partners received a paper reminding her that she had answered "yes" to this survey, and had been assigned a junior practicum. Meanwhile, she has a high school student coming in once a week and parents three times a week. We all love help, but sometimes you just need to be alone with your kids, without the extra eyes. It's too hard and too exhausting to be at the top of your game all the time like that. So she asked me if I would be willing to take her Junior field.

I asked her if she really thought I was ready. She told me, "Babe, if I didn't think so, I wouldn't have even told you about this. I'd have gone right to P who's been teaching for 15 years, or to T, who's been teaching for 8. You're ready. It'll make you grow."

I spat out some unintelligible excuse about not being tenured, and still getting ID'd at bars. She shot back, "I'll ask R (my principal)".

R was all for it.

I contemplated through the weekend. My class this year is... interesting... full of several strong personalities and well... six and seven year olds for Pete's sake!! I'm not always "on", I don't always know what I'm doing, and I'm still learning myself!

But it was D's comment, "It'll make you grow" that got to me. I do need to keep learning, and step outside of my comfort zone to be the best teacher possible. Besides, my kids would love it, I'd have a little extra help, and darn it... if everyone else thinks I'm ready, aren't I?

So, I accepted the offer. It still has to be ok'd at the college (I'm not even sure if a non-tenured teacher CAN take a junior field student), but I took the first step. I'm nervous and scared and uncomfortable, but just admitting that I can do this feels good.

Wish me luck!