From the mouths of babes...

Every so often, one of my students says something that cracks me up. Or horrifies me. When this happens, I try to write it down so I can remember it. So, here is a little compilation of some of the strange things I have heard over the years. Enjoy.

"Did you know that 10,000 years ago, woolly mammoths RULED THE WORLD?" boy, 6

"I bet if we had a tornado, the principal would run around like a free range chicken." boy, 6

"I can't read right now. My eyes are too sour." boy, 6

"Did you know that in California, men can marry other men? I think I'm gonna do that." boy, 8

Me: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Boy, 6: "I just want a mustache."

"You know that show where fat people stand in their underwear? That's inappropriate. And gross." boy, 6 (talking about the show The Biggest Loser)

"He threw up right at me! But he missed and hit the lunch table." boy, 7

"What do you like better: mastiffs or wieners?" boy, 7

Conversation between me and a 6 year old girl:

Girl: "When do you go to the bathroom?"

Me: "When you are at recess or lunch."

G: "What about the days that you have recess duty?"

M: "I hold it until I get a chance to go."

G: "I hope you don't have an accident. That would be embarrassing."

After discussing the various ages of their parents, the kids asked me how old MY parents are. I told them, and one of them exclaimed, "Wow! Your parents are young old people!"

Another conversation:

G: "What's your favorite color?"

Me: "Purple."

G: "Screw you!"

"My dog has a date tonight. She's getting 'doggy married' so we can have puppies." girl, 7

"Do you play tennis?"

"No, why?"

"I saw your name on my dad's racket."

(His dad has a Wilson racket.)

There is more where those came from. Every day is interesting in first grade!